quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
