Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
