Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
