Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
