How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
