Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i dont even know how to be here
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize