Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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