using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present