I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
