i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
