is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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