I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
