Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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