the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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