I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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