Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
