so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
