I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
