i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
