Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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