she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
