um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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