Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
