we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
