Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
