You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
