i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
