Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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