I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
