Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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