You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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