there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
