I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
