I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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