you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
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