But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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