im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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