She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize