Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
