"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
