that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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