Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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