Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
