If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
