Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
This house was built for laser tag.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
