Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
