but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i would one night stand the shit outta him
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
