tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
