I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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