We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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