i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
