508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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