got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize