Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
