Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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