They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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