i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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