The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
