she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It's just like the Real World with babies
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We are two peas in an std pod
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
