i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
